Well what can I say I am still on the dating scene and it continues to be a veritable barrel of laughs. Only this morning I woke up at 6am with blurry eyes to a picture of a penis. Now there are several things wrong with this……
A. it was not requested
B. If you are going to show your wares at least make sure what you are offering is of a good standard
C. I had just woken up to what initially I thought was a strangled turkeys neck
D. I am now feeling slightly traumatised nobody wants that on a sunday morning.
Do men really think this is what women want to see or am I old-fashioned and believe that unwrapping your proverbial presents before christmas some how spoils the surprise factor. To say he sank faster than the Titanic is an understament. Thank goodness for the facility to block people.
My next delight of the day seemed promising entitled Looking for my princess…for those who know me you may well be laughing at the idea of me being a princess but one can only try to deluded oneself. Intrigued I read on. His selling point was as follows ” I sleep loads, do nothing and looking for a woman who can cook and clean”. His private message to me was as follows “What can you cook for me”? This very nearly sold it to me and the temptation was massive NOT!!!!! Now I have reflected on his stereotypical view of women and noted that I do indeed have small feet, size three to be exact. However this is not an evolutionary trait in order to facilitate me being able to get closer to the sink. He clearly missed the blurb where I defined myself as a strong-willed, independent and career minded woman. I jumped overboard on this one without a life preserve as I thought drowning would be more preferable.
It is not all bad news though I managed to have a couple of very nice dates with a man called Gavin. He was not sleazy, did not want a servant and no pornographic pictures were sent. We appeared to get on well, no awkward pauses, similar interests and whilst he was not dynamite from an intellectual stimulation point of view he did not send me to sleep. He asked me for a third date to which I responded with “that would be nice”. However he never contacted me again and hence my reference to the Mary Celeste, he appears to have disappeared off the face of the earth. I am a little confused… I have considered a number of plausible reasons for his disappearance including abducted by aliens, memory loss and finally on a space mission. Maybe my response to his request for a third date was not encouraging enough and I should have sent a half-naked selfie to ensure persistence in the game of pursuing another.
Well the search continues hopefully not in vain. I now have a life jacket, parachute and swiss army knife as dating is very much a game of survival and you need to be prepared. Happy hunting to all of us in the same boat, searching for love, hopefully I shall not be sailing on the above two boats in my next dating adventure.